Mail From The North Pole

Karly has been sending messages to an Elf named Star and she got a long letter back yesterday at school.  I have never, in my lifetime, read a letter like this one from an Elf.  I absolutely have to share it!

Dear Karly,

I love that you love my name.  I am 514 years old.  I eat fruit and veggies.  My hair is green.  My job is to pack Santa's bag before Christmas.  On my free time, I go sledding with my friend, Spinner.  I am a boy.  My favorite hill to go sledding on is Snowy Mountain.  My favorite book is All The Elves.  It's about Santa owning all the elves and having us make cookies for him...then, Mrs. Santa stopped him and we all went back to our own jobs.  My wife's name is Twinkle.  She is very nice and makes cookies.  I am not allowed to talk about Santa for reasons like telling your friends because one might know an abominable snowman.  Something even worse is....well, I'm not allowed to talk about it, but just between you and me, it is really dangerous.  I am 1.5' tall.  I hope you're good, but I already know if you are.  I have a dad named Tiny, a brother named Red, two sons and two daughters.  My son's names are Sparkle and Ruffle.  My daughters names are Bubble and Tinsel.  My dad, Tiny, has Elfitis.  I hope you're having a nice time.

Your Friend,
Star

Karly is very concerned about Star's dad, Tiny's, condition....she says Elfitis is VERY BAD! :(  Anyone know the details of Elfitis?  Are there any cures?