I gave a devotional at work this morning and, due to some hardships in my own life which seem out of my control to fix....and also losing a good friend this past week to leukemia, I have been thinking a lot about what surrender means....total surrender to God.  I can think it in my mind and determine that I have done it, but my very analytical personality fights against total surrender by thinking "I can think of some way to solve this myself"....and "if I don't fix this, I have failed"...  I am learning (the hard way....but really is there an easy way for me to learn?) that surrender is necessary, that I cannot fix all things and I am not supposed to.  Learning and growth comes out of the failure and the struggle.  I have to want GOD...not for what He can do for me (that is an amazing result of loving HIM)....But, I just have to love HIM in order to glorify HIM....no strings attached to me for my reputation, or pride, or expectations of what my life should look like....I just have to surrender the ME in all of that to the GOD of everything.

Part of the devotional message I used said this:

"True surrender will always go beyond natural devotion.  If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender." 

I was amazed at the highlighted part of that statement....so my intense desire to fix things and to make them right with my loved ones may be hindering GOD'S working with them?  Hmmmm, so it is possible that I can be trying to push open a door or shove open a window that God is not intending to use in this situation and I just need to back off and allow for my loved one's to experience the healing love and grace of God in the middle of their need and maybe...just maybe, God cannot clearly show them their need because I am constantly interrupting with ideas of how to meet their need.....GET OUT OF THE WAY.....ahhhh, why is that so hard!?  God is faithful and true....He will do what He promised.

Way Beyond Myself

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwsykwR0CLM&index=11&list=RD_iEkj8JU5MQ