A simple statement from a devotional a coworker shared this morning stuck with me all day.....it was,"the fruit of the Spirit is not a personality trait".  I already know this, but I need to understand it.  It is so easy for me to look at other people and perceive them by their personality and think, "Oh, patience just comes easy to them or they just are a gentle, Teddy Bear kind of person" and totally relate their nature to their personality....however, the fruit of the Spirit is not natural to us.  It is supernatural.....we are not born with it but we choose to partake of it and to continue desiring it.  Because it is not in our DNA, it is only available to us through the Spirit....it is not really honest to say "I am not patient or I am not self-controlled".....assuming I cannot change.......because, though there may be little evidence of some of this fruit in us, it is an indication that we are not allowing the Spirit to work in us toward perfecting our image to be more like Christ.

I struggle sometimes with the connection between grace and justice or the unconditional love of Christ that says "Come as you are" and the working out and perfecting of our faith that happens while we will "be transformed by the renewing of our minds" and "be perfect (in love) as your Heavenly Father is perfect" and "work out your salvation with fear and trembling"....I was thinking about that the other day and I think it may relate to marriage in a way.  Upon our engagement and wedding, we commit to that person for a lifetime.....we are in love with them and we have singled them out from all others....hopefully not just for how they make us feel or what we have in common or goals and talents which compliment one another as these are mostly Ego related and can change with time or feelings, but also because we have a belief and peace that this is who God has chosen for us.  We accept them as they are.  Throughout a marriage, however, two people have to become one....still accepting each other's differences and unique qualities, but learning to give love and grace in ways the other needs it.....that is a difficult process because each individual person is naturally selfish and they have to learn to let go of some things or do things a little differently than what they have expected.....the marriage has to be worked out and perfected and the partners have to be willing and (hopefully) desiring to please the other and understand that so much of the blessings in life are from what you can give away and not what you can get.

It is interesting to me that the fruit of the Spirit are all good for us, but also good for us to give away as they can relate to relationships we have between ourselves and God or ourselves and others.  The fruit of the Spirit is an indication of a person who has chosen to feed their soul instead of their Ego and, in doing so, has realized the contentment and satisfaction in feeding others.