HI, MY NAME IS SCARED

Karly has been super excited to be starting Preschool this fall...she has been looking forward to it every year as she watches her older sisters put on their backpacks and sobs as they leave for school pretty much every morning.  (We do have a lot of drama in our home...I am usually emotionally spent before I start work at 8am  :-)  So, I have been a little surprised this summer that she is starting to show some anxiety about it.  I try to walk them through things that are making them anxious in order to visualize themselves being successful...normally it helps, like this past week they were all scared to jump off the diving board and I told them to just think they were jumping into a huge bowl of their favorite ice cream...their swim teachers thought it was a little strange that they yelled out an ice cream flavor before they jumped, but it worked!... :-)  Karly told me later she yelled, "Rainbow Sherbet, here I come!" I wish I had been right by the diving board to see how it played out with all the girls because all of their stories of it were pretty comical.  BUT this time was so funny.  I had Karly imagine she is walking into her preschool class and I wanted her to practice going up to another kid in her mind and saying "hi, my name is Karly...what's your name?"  So, she starts to say it for me...but, she ends up saying, "Hi, my name is Scared"...I have laughed so hard over that one...imagine if we all actually did that!  OK, maybe it is just funny to me, but I am rolling!  I think it is because I actually feel like this a lot of the time. You have to face your own fears to teach your kids to overcome theirs...that kind-of stinks...no one ever told me that! :-)

You may be proud of me that I am facing my fear of bugs...head on.  Brad has been gone for this weekend and I have been working outdoors even as I am being buzzed by Tracker...err Cicada Killers...I have had to kill spiders and a wasp inside our home while he has been away.  I now have fly swatters located on both levels of our home for easy access and tonight I heard a bug, closed my eyes, and guessed it was a ladybug (they make a distinct noise when they hit the walls...they also have a peculiar smell when you smoosh them....should probably flush them)  Anyway, I was correct!

Today was a great day!  We received news that the judge signed the paperwork to allow the official adoption to begin today....so, the girls can move in with us full-time now...no more 5 nights with us...1 night with the foster parents....I know that sounds confusing.  But, we are done with the visitation period now and on to the beginning of legal status and adoption...this will still take 6 months, but the court sees them as our children now.  This whole process is hard, though.  I will never regret it, but there is so much to it...everyday I have to pray God will help me to handle whatever comes my way and give me strength.  I really should be praying this anyway, so it is really helping me to seek Him as I should.  We have some "hi, my name is scared" days ahead of us.  Because of what Savannah has been through in the past, she must testify in court soon.  We have been working with her and some wonderful counselors to help her become emotionally ready for this, but we could always use prayer :-)  I have been feeling some anxiety over it recently since it is almost upon us...it is much easier for me to have that emotional forcefield around me when I am just reading words in a report, but put the actual people involved in front of me and my little girl having to tell her own story....I think that situation may penetrate any type of forcefield I can muster.  I would really like to be strong for her.  God has been speaking the verse to me that says, seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.  I think He is trying to help me with my anxiety and to know what to pray for her as well.

McKenna was away at Camp Barakel for a week and Savannah and I had some time in the evenings after the other girls had gone to sleep...so, we started reading a book together that she had picked up from church.  I had no idea what it was about or about the characters in the story, but as we started reading it...one of the main characters was the daughter of a pastor and as we got further into the book we realized she had been adopted.  I got that lump in my throat...and I am getting it again as I am typing this...God is perfection.  She is so excited about that book...I can't even believe it parallels what she is going through right now.  It addresses so many issues that she is dealing with through the character in this story.  I couldn't have picked a better book!  That is a huge praise!  I love when He shows off!

Well, I have already said too much...see why there is no way I could be on twitter...haha!  What would I say? Scared, Killed bug, Ice Cream, Lump in Throat, God's Good...ok, that is so weird to me, but you may have appreciated the brevity.

Grateful for you!

Heather